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‘No you can’t! Yes I can!!’

by Dr Janin Vansteenkiste

The annual complimentary calendar from my insurance agent has been upgraded to include a motivational quote for every month. My favourite one says: ‘The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do’.

These words definitely define my own career and personal achievements.

Whilst coaching a steady stream of very different people over the years, I have observed that these very words have triggered success for many others as well.

Many challenges and motivations were born the very moment someone was told:

‘You cannot possible pass that exam’
‘Your head is simply not right for maths’
‘Your test results are pathetic’
‘Your essay is the worst of the class’
‘You will never be able to run a business’
‘You have no leadership skills’

These and similar deadly verdicts are usually flung at us by some person of authority when we are standing at a fork in the road & needing to make a life-changing choice. They are real wake up calls! They have the potential to raise the hero in us. It all depends on how we confront the fork. How many people told me during their coaching sessions what a challenging impact these prophecies of doom had on them! How they knuckled down to prove that teacher, parent, boss or colleague wrong!

‘It is now so many years later’ they say,
‘I just wish I could show him/her that I did it anyway!’
‘If only she/he could see me now!’
Hard won victories are sweet revenge!

The moment of accusation; of having failed or being destined for failure, remains branded in memory. Like a tattoo on ones skin, it was painful when inflicted and impossible to erase. It was a moment of re-defining success as failure turned inside out.

When years of personal discipline, study or practice at last pay off; when we succeed at ‘impossible goals’, the tattoo is worn like a badge of honour. If you have one, show it off!